Bill Burr is a well-known comedian with a sharp and often irreverent sense of humor. Here are five quotes attributed to Bill Burr:

1. “There’s no reason to hit a woman. If you have to hit a woman, you have to hit her like you hit a man – a guy you respect. You have to sit her down and have a talk. You can’t just haul off and smack her. Not in 2024.”

2. “I’m not a conspiracy guy. I never got into that. I think the government is in way over their heads, whether they want to admit it or not. I think it’s like the board of directors at GE trying to run the Tea Cup ride at Disney World. And they’re like, ‘Turn it up!'”

3. “I don’t care how old you are; if you saw a guy with a big knife running at you, you’d run. It wouldn’t be this old-man run either. You’d be hauling ass like Usain Bolt.”

4. “You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.'”

5. “You know what’s great about the internet? If you disagree with somebody, they can’t punch you in the face. They can type. ‘You’re a [expletive]!’ They can’t hit you.”